Chelsea asked me to post the following on her behalf.
I have been staring at a blank page for close to an hour and it has yet to become any easier for me to write what I know I have to.
I have tried to type this out in dozens of different ways and come to the conclusion that there won’t ever be a way to say it perfectly. It just has to be said period. I don’t know for sure that this will even begin to make a dent in making anything better. That is not what this is about, though. This is about me coming to tell you what you deserve to hear, which is that I am sorry; two words that really should not be near as hard to say as what they are.
It startles me to come to understand how hard it is to say “I am sorry” when you know that the situation they’re affiliated with is one that really hurt people. Especially when it hurt not only one, but several people who opened their arms and hearts to embrace someone without having any way to know how many layers the person they are embracing has.
I am sorry that there was so much hurt and so much destruction caused by my words and my actions. I am sorrier still, that I did these things and told these lies to begin with and even more that I have no good reason to explain why.
I don’t have an evil heart or an evil spirit or mind. I believe that what I do have, goes deeper and is more conflicted than that. It isn’t evil because people are not evil. You told me, and in a way, taught me that. Despite whatever wrongs human-beings may commit against one another, nobody is really evil.
You are right in saying that something about me is missing and spiraling out in no-man’s land. It will be something I have to take control of and repair and in order for me to do that, I need to accept that I need help.
Nobody is perfect. We all know that much, but imperfection is corrected in the best ways possible when we take action to right the wrongs it has caused.
Now and then, we have little choice except to accept our poor decisions as our own and learn from them. I will do that. I will take your words into my heart and remember them, but keep them at a safe distance as we sever our ties.
Thank you for the chance to do that and allowing me to have this shot in life at turning this around to become something real.
EDIT: Chelsea added the following in our comment section.
It was me. It was my lies. My bullshit. Nobody else’s. Pulling other people’s names into it is bullying. If you want to talk about someone, focus on the one who lied, faked a blog, a disease, plagiarized, and hurt people. Leave innocent bystanders and their names out of it.
Everything I am accused of, I have done and sincerely regret it.
Please leave me to handle this as best as I and therapists can.